Sunday, September 26, 2010

What Does Your Liquor Think Of You?

By Andrew “the Alchemist”
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Would you like to know what your favorite liquor thinks of you?

Does it think you are intelligent and seek out only the best ingredients in your food and drink?

Or, does it think you are not very educated and wish that your life was a lot more generally-sexy than it is?

Are you really interested in knowing what your liquor thinks of you?

Warning!  Proceed at your own risk!

Go to Google images:

Type in the proprietary name associated with one of your favorite liquors. That means that if you like George Dickel Tennessee Whiskey, you will just type in George Dickel.

Now look at the images that appear.  Do you see multiple images among the first five rows that look like they could come from the cover of a big-budget pornographic video?

If you do, it means that this liquor company has made the basic, but high-level, decision to capture the dollars of the poorly-educated masses that wish their life was more glamorous and sexy than it will ever be.  This is what your liquor thinks of you.

If you don’t, it could mean a lot of things.  But, one of them is the possibility that your liquor thinks you are a bit more sophisticated in your tastes or liquor-awareness than the masses.

Of course, this is not an accurate science and mostly just fun.  Some liquor companies think you are dumb and frustrated that just don’t have the advertising budget to exploit your vulnerabilities.

If you are a good Google searcher and only find a few images of any type associated with your favorite liquors, you probably are an adventurous-but-discerning, and educated, drinker.

With any type of product, a lack of flashy images found doing this type of search means that the company either doesn't have much of an advertising budget, or they are doing fine on word of mouth - or both.

In my case, it was a mix, but at least the majority of my most-revered liquors had a low ‘porn-index.’  Luxardo Triplum might just think I am intelligent and satisfied, while Cointreau seems to think I am dumb and frustrated.

What does your liquor think of you?

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